you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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