My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
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a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
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This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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