i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
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I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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