She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize