I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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