Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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