no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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