How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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