Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize