in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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