it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize