Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize