I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
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I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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