Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
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