Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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