i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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