I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
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yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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