Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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