butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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