im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize