who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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