is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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