so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize