guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
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I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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