Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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