Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.

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  (917): I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina. http://tfl.nu/mdvg
  Replies (81) Good night (644) Bad night (9585) Order T-Shirt
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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  (623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6
  Replies (56) Good night (4203) Bad night (1900)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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  (218): I threw up into my coffee this morning. http://tfl.nu/fytz
  Replies (10) Good night (769) Bad night (4892) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.

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  (678): i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste. http://tfl.nu/3anp
  Replies (21) Good night (4741) Bad night (1668)
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  (315): View more from New York

  dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you

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  (315): dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you http://tfl.nu/n46y
  Replies (13) Good night (5332) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie

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  (260): I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie http://tfl.nu/6pmw
  Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (3127) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability

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  (917): we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability http://tfl.nu/xeg6
  Replies (1) Good night (2133) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.

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  (859): you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so. http://tfl.nu/9261
  Replies (5) Good night (2427) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1315) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.

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  (909): This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday. http://tfl.nu/sxb3
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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  (231): My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/e8qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1649) Bad night (420) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.

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  (905): And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high. http://tfl.nu/wkek
  Replies (6) Good night (983) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.

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  (410): I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid. http://tfl.nu/ggrs
  Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"

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  (843): Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty" http://tfl.nu/jvva
  Replies (1) Good night (1222) Bad night (246)
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  (707): View more from California

  Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.

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  (707): Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend. http://tfl.nu/wf6o
  Replies (6) Good night (884) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

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