I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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