I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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