Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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