She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize