Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize