what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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