Your dad touched me again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize