I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize