i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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