I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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