I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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