dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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