sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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