Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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