Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize