it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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