true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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