hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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