Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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