Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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