She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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