Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize