I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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