She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize